I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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