you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
