There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
