So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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