She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
