But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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