Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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