He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
