Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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