Just fell off a train. Bad.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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