My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize