She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
