Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
