we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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