I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
