The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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