I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm always down for nudity.
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