That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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