you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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