I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sorry my hands just texted you
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
