Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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