Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
