his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
