I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
