She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
