maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
