I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
