Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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