Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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