i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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