I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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