Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
