so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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