I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
