he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
