I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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