My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
