It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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