are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
