I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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