Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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