I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize