haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
