this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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