can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
