i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize