i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
