Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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