i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
