How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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