I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
