Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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