You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
