His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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