Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it's like iHOP with fire
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
