Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
