i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
