remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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