i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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